A Letter To An Old Friend About My Faith
Since the beginning of my adventure through the words of Jesus, I have seen countless dismissals of my faith. From a close personal friend asking me “What has Christ ever done for you?” to people blatantly telling me Jesus is a lie. But you were always encouraging. You seemed to always be on my side.
We would vibe out smoking cigs and talking about the crazy experiences I had at church. I’d zip over after service to crack a beer and tell you about the sermon. I’d even pray for you and declare healing over your family. After a while though, I seemed to notice a bit of an apprehensive vibe. Maybe it was just me, it probably was, I was such a self-victimizing, introverted pessimist back then.
This is the thing that keeps me up at night. The blinking cursor and blank text messages on my phone as I would sit there and stare. Simply because I couldn’t build up enough courage to write to my old friend who I have lost touch with because of my faith. The fizzling conversations and polite “lolz” at tasteful jokes since I can no longer cross the boundaries of humor into the crude and malicious places we used to go together. It hurts me. Not only once in a while but quite frequently, as I remember inside jokes from high school and college, see old movies we used to watch, think about the first time we got trashed or even the first time we got caught sneaking out of my house.
My faith has put a stop to adolescent lifestyles. Maybe it has been subconscious or maybe you’ve thought it and haven’t expressed it to me in order to spare my feelings. Either way, I know it. Either way, I know I’m the one who changed. And allow me to address the fumbling.
You may not care in the slightest, but the bible is a super complex and delicate book. You may have your own opinion; but step into my shoes if not only for this article. When I was wrapping my head around the complexities of God for the first time, I was excited, confused, over-eager, self-righteous, and zealous. But more than anything I was anxiously looking for someone to join me on this adventure. So I’m sorry for the stupid things I may have said. The awkward conversations with your girl friend, the almost inevitable bible-bashing and the reluctant misuse of Jesus’ name. Thats not Christianity. I hope you can see me as a better representation of a Christian now than back then.
As for where life has brought us,
what more can we say. The best is yet to come. I promise you that I’m never looking to hurt you or devalue your opinion of the world. I simply want you to see yourself the way I do. With unending talent and potential. And I promise to be here if you are ever in need of anything. As insignificant or big as it may be; it’s never too much to ask. I never look to a religion to settle our friendship but if you can objectively look at me; you can trust that something has changed for the better. And all I want is to show you what I saw. Not some contrived, dogmatic list of rules; but a divine mentor who rescues us from ourselves.
This isn’t a letter of pity or a bromantic make-up letter. Just one of clarification. I hope that as we encounter new friendships in life we will have one goal: to grow deeper in those friendships. Strengthening each other and pushing each other to become better men. That’s what my faith has taught me, and that’s now what I live by.
If you enjoyed reading this don’t be a stranger and comment in the comments section. What do you want your old friends to know about you?