There’s Hope for the Friendzone After All
“Some people come into our lives for a reason, a season and/or for a lifetime…we must get with God in order to know which is which.”
– Micaela Cancino
Ah, the friendzone. It’s a magical place where romantic dreams towards someone go to die or live in a recurring cycle of what could have beens. It’s where you’ll find Doug Funnie (Doug), Milhouse Van Houten (The Simpsons) and Myra Monkhouse (Family Matters) basically. Yeah that’s right, ladies can get friendzoned too and it’s not a comfortable situation to be in, especially when you didn’t want things to go that way.
Christian artist Jamie Grace captured the feelings of teen and young adult angst in the friendzone in her song “Just a Friend:”
“Why can’t you just see what I see,
When you say I’m just a friend, you tell me I’m just friend,
I think I could make you happy,
But you say I’m just a friend, you tell me I’m just a friend,
So I’ll be that, that, that…But I don’t wanna be just that…”
Despite our wants, we’re going to be just friends with someone who we may truly care about and even love in this walk. One of the things that I wish I had understood earlier in life is that you’re better off just friends with some people. It’s normal to be attracted to someone, but when you’re not operating in the purpose of that connection, you’re bound to fall into emotional turmoil and disconnection.
This happened to me before because I didn’t take the time to properly seek God on the purpose of the connection—why we were in each other’s lives in that particular season. While you’re trying to make someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, God’s showing you sign after sign that this person is supposed to be in your life for a different reason.
But feelings can really cloud our judgment and make us misinterpret people’s gestures towards us. For example, opening doors and chairs is not flirtation, it’s chivalry. Some ladies literally take these gestures from random men and try to size them up for a tuxedo for the wedding in their head. It takes humility to bring sensitive issues like relationships and the opposite sex before God because we want to believe that our emotions are right, that our friends were right, that our parents are right, etc. But what does God say? We can’t ignore the Lord in the stage of getting to know someone.
Despite your desires, God in His infinite wisdom and sovereignty may have you in someone’s life to push them towards their goals as a friend, to be the iron that sharpens them in regards to how they develop communication with the opposite sex, or several other ways. You can’t force a relationship and you should not want to; there’s a thin line between persistent pursuit and knowing what your true role is in someone’s life. I recommend listening to the whole song, but Jamie Grace came to the conclusion that it’s best to leave it up to the One who should have her heart:
“So Father, I will place this in Your hands,
You know me and all my crazy plans,
Humbly I surrender this to You,
So I’ll keep dreaming,
You’ll keep coming through…”
Now I leave you with a social media post that I read ultimately allowed me to have hope in the friendzone and share that hope with others. There’s a reason for everything and this confirms it right here:
Just a quick word of encouragement to single folks in waiting: Sometimes God will send a good godly man/woman into your life to help you to heal, help to restore you and for you to discover, know or remember who you are in Christ Jesus and who He is in you. These people may or may not be ‘the one’ God has for you. Often times they may be sent to prepare you for ‘the one’ He has for you. Don’t get too caught up in whether they are or not, just allow God to do what He does through the divine connection.
Some people come into our lives for a reason, a season and/or for a lifetime…we must get with God in order to know which is which. Don’t be too anxious and just let it all flow and unfold naturally. What is meant to be will indeed be according to God’s good will and purpose for each one of our lives. Nothing and no one can stop what God has destined for our lives, not even we ourselves.
Be encouraged that God knows precisely what He is doing, He is in control…He is God all by Himself and He don’t need no one else’s help. You will have what He says is yours just remain abiding in Him as He abides in you; don’t lose focus. Seek ye first…you know the rest. Amen!!!”
Have you ever been friendzoned? How did you handle it? What would you have done differently looking back? Can you give us any advice? Comment, like and share! Let us know!