Siblings in Christ: How to Be the Friend They Need in Times of Chaos
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. -King Solomon. The book of Proverbs teaches us that a friend is more than someone who loves you. A friend is there in specific for the hardest times in your lives. It almost feels like God fashioned the church with tight knit friendships to uphold each other through thick and thin doesn’t it? (cynical tone) It is a divine design for us to have spiritual friendships to benefit us at times of need and for us to give in our times of abundance. We all have that one friend who can feel when we need to be lifted up. Who knows exactly how to make us feel better or even make us forget we were feeling down in the first place. In my experience there are some simple ways we can learn to be that sibling in christ to those we love most. While some resort to the obvious chick flicks, wine, ice cream and bars, there may be other alternatives that are just as therapeutic (I am not talking about the obvious ones like prayer and worship, read ya bible, bro. It always helps). So here are my ways to be the sibling in Christ your friend needs in times of chaos:
Fake a Birthday
I don’t know why this works. But the most simple corny thing in the world is going to Applebee’s, or Chevy’s or Friday’s or and ‘s and tell them its your S.I.C’s birthday even though it’s not. Surprise them with those unenthusiastic, underpaid waiters singing terrible renditions of happy birthday and a $2.50 ice cream cake along side 30 seconds of embarrassment and it can really change your mood. Incredible!
Go to Your Nearest City and Pick Up People Hailing Taxis
Don’t actually pick them up, but pull over like you’re going to and I guarantee it is the funniest thing you will ever see. The expressions on their faces are incomparable.
Make Light of Their Chaos
This doesn’t mean make fun of the situation. Or downplay how seriously it may have hurt them. But let’s say they have recently had their heart broken, it might be nice to melodramatically start singing “When I Was Your Man” By Bruno Mars to them in a crowded room full of strangers. Or even give them little passive jokes on it to respond to. Let them know it’s okay.
It’s Not If You Bring It Up, It’s How You Bring It Up.
We all know your S.I.C is s.i.c.k. They are feeling down whether they are showing it or not. You may want to confirm whether or not they need some prayer, a hug, a laugh or just don’t want to talk about it at all and maybe they just want to enjoy their time with you and not think about anything else! The trick is to know how to bring it up. Every one is different. Since you know your S.I.C you will know what kind of deep conversations they will want. Whether they need that soft “Are you okay love?” or that passive “Well what about that thing you went through, ehh?” Either way all you are doing is setting the emotional space for them to open up. They will tell you if they want to or not.
Make Some Alone Time For Them
There might be some stuff they might want to tell you and only you. It’s really good to keep them in groups having fun in the city and everything; but alone time is where prayer happens, where forgiveness sets in, where repentance takes place, where God deals with individuals hearts. This is not to says God won’t do that in a group setting but sometimes it’s more comfortable for them to open up.
Pray for Them
Pray for them, bro/sis. Prayer is the ultimate weapon. If you haven’t seen or heard of the War Room you are living under a rock. Whether you believe in God or not, prayer works. So try it out, close your eyes now…Go ahead…I’ll wait….
…..seriously it’s a simple direction! Just close your eyes and think of the friend thats going through something. Now ask God for what you want them to be feeling. Peace, comfort, relief. NO REVENGE! STOP THAT!
Wasn’t that nice? Prayer is the direct connection to your S.I.C’s future spiritual health. Give it a go every day and watch as they get better. I say that with the utmost confidence, because I’ve seen God do great things.
Don’t Stop Chillin’ 2 Months Later
There are specific types of chaos that leave people feeling lonely and scared. Deaths of loved ones, break ups, depression and any others you can think of. When we feel like we have helped these S.I.C’s overcome we sometimes forget to keep checking up on them and making sure they are okay. I once got advice from a friend who lost their mom. She said that 2-6 months later were the hardest times. Because that’s when all the phone calls stopped. Of course there were still people who checked in, and the love of her close family, but people forget to keep asking. To keep insisting that you could be broken.
Without Christ no wound heals completely, understanding that God doesn’t take anyone, he only receives them. It isn’t his will for any to perish but it is humanity that lives in a corrupt system of disease and crooked foundations that leaves us losing people too early. The enemy stealing, killing, and destroying our loved ones before their time is up.