Love Don’t Cost A Thing, It Costs Everything
I feel like we throw around the phrase love is free way too much. Like it’s a cheap commodity that is a luxury afforded to us because we demand it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally an advocate for love and peace, happiness and joy! However, I feel like if we want to give and receive love, we have to know it’s price. Not only spiritually (as in the cross of Jesus) but in the natural sense of it. Realistically, what does it cost to love someone? Some might say nothing. Some kind words and some pleasant actions, others might say it costs more. Well, my theory is that it costs even more so. It costs everything we have. Here’s why.
It Costs Time
Like anything else worth having in life, love doesn’t happen quickly. At the risk of shattering societal cliches, it’s more like “infatuation at first sight”. And I’ve been guilty. WOAH MAMA! LOOK AT HER! But to win someone’s trust, heart and life should take time. Doing it by earning their love one act of kindness and trustworthiness at a time. When we fall too quick into infatuation and mix it up with love our heart writes a check our brain can’t cash. We wake up months or maybe years later, wondering why we “fell out of love”. But true love will take the time to earn your heart, day in and day out. Seeking out the depth of who we really are, beyond the physical with no fear of what it will find.
It Costs Vulnerability
To be known is a dangerous and frightening idea today. I will be the first to admit that I’ve numbed myself to the very thought of being vulnerable. Not because I’m too macho, or because I want to be prideful (although those could be reasons) but because past experiences have taught me that’s the safest bet. The ironic thing is that love seeks out vulnerability. Not to prey on it, but to embrace it. When we love someone we look for their weaknesses and love them. Not because of their flaws, or despite their flaws, just IN their flaws. (Did I lose you?)
Here look, if I really loved someone who was in a really bad mess, I would love them, but would do everything in my power to help them get out of it. Now if they loved me, they would show me that they are in that mess so that I could help them. It would also take vulnerability on their end and self love from them to get out of their own mess. Without it, we are in a one sided relationship.
It Costs Sacrifice
It’s funny, the more I allow married people to speak into my life the more one thing becomes evident. It’s not about me. It’s not only about what I want, my dreams, aspirations and goals but there are things that I need to factor into the equation when there is somebody to love. (don’t worry, no Queen lyrics will be quoted) The priority list of love rarely starts with me and mostly begins with God. Then sequentially after that is “us”. When you love someone, the team of “us” is far more important than what “I” may feel or what I’m going through in the moment. Even if I’m in a world of emotional turmoil or want something badly, sacrifice will be necessary. Not because of some massochistic need to ruin my own desires but to see “us” rise to the next level. It’s a conscious and daily choice to make a sacrifice. But it’s worth it. And true love does it.
It Costs Money
Some are probably reading this and thinking “Love ain’t about the money! How dare you!” I agree with you. Love isn’t about money, but love does COST money. This is the reason I don’t advise 12 year olds to get into relationships. This is the reason I don’t want my baby-girl cousin dating a dude with no job and no career, and it’s the reason I want my little brother to start his own business. If our mama’s gotta give us allowance to take a girl out, we’re too young to date. If we don’t got enough money to pay mortgage on a house, or good credit, we’re not ready to get married. It doesn’t matter what age.
My point is that love should costs us the sweat that we work for every day. In the same way that we work to go out on the weekends and relax with friends, we should be working to get a little something nice for that special person. If you’re not willing to spend your hard earned cash on the person you love, then you’ve got something twisted. Now, if we don’t have it, we need to learn to be creative…quick 😉 Or don’t date.
Love Costs All Of Me
Yep, John Legend was right (well, with this song). What is most important and under-explained, is that love is beyond actions. Love is a lifestyle. If you love someone you are giving yourself wholeheartedly to them. At any stage of love, whether friendship, relationship or marriage; holding back is simply not an option. Love requires risk. The risk of being hurt, but in that risk runs the option of reward. The reward of happiness and joy. Without it there is no true love. This is why love costs “YOU”. Without knowing you, there is no loving you, there is only a facade, a mask, a numb heart.
Angel Quiroz is a Graphic Designer/Entrepreneur/Grunge Rock Philanthropist here at Culture & God talk to him by subscribing below.