Why The Friend Zone is The Guys Fault
Friend Zone Taught Me One Thing
If there’s one thing that my awkward pre-pubescent adolescence has taught me it’s how to be a friend zone expert. I can friend zone the crap out of any girl! And any guy for that matter! Is that weird? I just like being friends with people. But the friend zone stigma is something despised by many a-single person today. Guy’s tend to see it as the ultimate swag failure. The end of your game.
I won’t disagree, what I will say is that, you did it to yourself.
Before I explain why this is your own fault, I want to explain what the friend zone really is and how you got there in the first place.
What is “The Friend Zone”?
When asked the question, I tend to refer back to the days when I was in college. Chasing after the girl I thought I wanted to be with forever and she would hug me and say “I love you so much! You’re like a brother to me!” FRIEND ZONE!
Heart breaking right? I’m so invested in this girl, how dare she clarify her position so that I don’t further invest my emotions into her?! What a terrible person! I used to think so, I used to vilify ladies for doing this, but how could I? When something this simple could spare the heart of a poor shlub, or on the flip side, could spare her own safety at a party or in the beginning of a possible long term relationship!
How Did I Get Here?
You didn’t just wake up one day being friends with someone. Friendship is the natural progression of relationships in life. No one assumes attraction to anyone accept the rare occasions when it happens and people fall in like. That seems to be happening more frequently nowadays but that’s an article for another day.
My point is that you showed her that you cared. You showed her interest and some sort of emotion. But either it wasn’t enough or it was too much. Either way she wasn’t interested. And guess what gentlemen, she has every single right to not be interested in you. It’s not a reflection on you or her, just a reflection on the situation maybe. You never know. Do you know what she’s going through? So she did what any decent person would do. She set a boundary. She drew a line. It’s up to you to respect that boundary. To either color inside those lines or close the coloring book. This is where pride comes in. Well if I can’t scribble where I please then I don’t want this coloring book at all! Right?
Why Is It My Fault?
What I started to realize the more I was friend zoned (transparent moment right now, guys) was that any of those friendships could have been great at the time had I not cut them short and let my pride get the best of me.
Excluding of course eventual marriages and relationships, having friendships are healthy and necessary, and what I was doing was approaching people I was interested in with the wrong intentions. Girls, correct me if I’m wrong but you can sense that from a mile away. The friend zone is only a negative place to be if you’re intentions are wrong. If you truly care for someone, being their friend is more important than getting in their pants.
Don’t let the male concepts of instant relationships fool you and make you think that being a friend first or only being friends is a bad thing. Sometimes watching a girl you once had a crush on, dated, liked or loved marry the man of her dreams can be incredibly rewarding. That sounds stupid, backwards, suckerish and dumb, but if you were really ever her friend, you’d want to see her happy right? That’s what real men do. They make women happy.
Have you ever been friend zoned? What was that like for you? Comment and let me know! I’m curious to know if you’ve ever friend zoned anyone as well! Do you think it’s anyone’s fault in particular or is it something that just happens organically?