7 Qualities of Strong Friendships
I’ve always longed for the day when I would have more friends than I could handle. My phone ringing off the hook, text messages flooding my cell phone and my Facebook inbox full. What I didn’t expect is to get to a point in my life where those things were happening I didn’t want them to anymore. All I wanted was a few good friends, a good future and family. This could have been from my near death experience or it could have simply been because I grew an appreciation for the finer things in life. Either way, I knew God was in the mix.
I decided to figure out, what is was about friendship that was actually important? Why did God even create it and what really makes strong friendships?! Here is what I came up with:
1. Strong Friendships Were God’s Intent
God created us for “fellowship”. He in Himself is 3 in 1 and was walking side by side with Adam when He created man. It was only after things went wrong that this changed. Strong bonds help us fill that space that was once filled by God. They were designed by the Creator himself and were meant to be pleasing to Him.
2. Strong Friendships Aren’t Always Encouraging
You’ll hear the iron sharpens iron thing. You’ll hear the sisters in Christ thing. You’ll hear them all, and yes, they are true, but what is also true is that we all need someone to tell us the truth in love. Someone who we trust to be absolutely blunt with us because they want nothing but the best for us. It’s not always pretty and it’s not always encouraging, but it’s always uplifting and it’s always in love. I will say this, it always leaves us better than we were. A real friendship won’t be scared to help us change.
3. Strong Friendships Go Through Storms
Massive storms are on the horizon and we sometimes don’t see them coming. Strong friendships come out of the tidal wave stronger than ever. Even if there were some discrepancies and some bickering here and there, it’s always love at the end of the day. The storms of life are never stronger than the bond you have together because at the root of your friendship is your relationship with Christ. That can’t be broken.
4. Strong Friendships Forgive AND Forget
Forgiveness isn’t complete without forgetfulness. God himself casts our sins into the sea of forgetfulness once He has forgiven us, why should we hold onto someone else’s wrongdoings towards us? A jacked/swoll friendship can’t remember the last fight they had. Even if they can they wouldn’t want to. It’s digging up what God has already buried.
5. Strong Friendships Aren’t Needy
Time can fly when you have great friends. But sometimes, it can catch up to you, and you’ll realize you haven’t spoken to them in a while. Not for any particular reason: maybe it was finals week, maybe your dad didn’t pay your cell phone bill and you were fasting from Facebook. Anyhow, being able to go however long without feeling rejected is part of a strong friendship.
Your friends will have other friends! You will have other friends! Thats part of life! At the root of your Christ centered friendship should be confidence in yourself and knowing that no one can have what you guys have because no one is you. God created you uniquely. So be sure to keep plenty of strong friendships.
6. Strong Friendships Last For Years
We all have that friend who we haven’t seen in forever, but every time we see them we pick up right where we left off like nothing ever happened! Friendships are meant to be cultivated and be deepened. It’s part of creating a fulfilling life. Having people we can share our lives with is what God wants for us, not just our spouses but also community. This is part of the reason God made the Church. So hold onto those friendships and grow with them, let them into your world, into your hearts and as you begin to trust them, tell them more about your story. Im sure it’s fascinating.
7. Strong Friendships Help Each Other Grow
The closest friends I’ve had in my life have been people who have changed with me. Until one day, my change became too dramatic. It’s an unfortunate reality but rarely will you meet someone who is willing to go through every change of life with you. (If I did and they are of the opposite sex, I’d marry them).
However, growth becomes the determining factor in friendship. The one thing that no friendship can do without. I like to ask myself, “If I become the person I’m aspiring to be in God’s eyes, will this person be able to handle it?” If the answer is anything short of “Of course they would! They’re coming along for the ride with me!” they are not in the strong friendship I’m looking for.
This doesn’t mean you’d drop any other friends. But were talking about the qualities of strong friendships here, not the requirements for group appetizers at Applebee’s.
Originally Posted on: College Christian