5 Reasons Modern Dating is Out of Date
You’re putting on your Saturday night best, text coordinating with your buds about who should show up and make sure the bar isn’t too crowded, arguing about which places are played out, and secretly hoping that tonight will be the night your one night stand will end up being a two night stand…and maybe a three and who knows. This could be the real thing.
When I was single, and reading a lot of articles, I noticed most of them were written by women, for men! So I’ve taken it upon myself to write out what I think would be a great addition to the melting pot of self absorbed dating advice in a world filled with one sided love. So here are my 5 reasons modern dating is out of date.
1. Meeting someone at a random place (i.e a bar/club/book store/on the street/hitting on or getting hit on in general).
Assuming that you are looking to fulfill the need of an actual healthy relationship in your life, I won’t dismiss this one totally, but I will say that meeting someone at a bar or club may not be the best. There is no way of getting to know each other past a physical level, and although as men, we are all about that bass (ehhem) we do have a sensitive side. For instance, wouldn’t you like to know if this girl will be a good double date with your awesome group of best friends before you go taking her home, emotionally damaging her and not calling her back after awkwardly telling her to leave because you have laundry to do?
2. Dating someone with different values/morals/spiritual ideals.
This one is a given. But I see it more than I see couples who wear matching Sperrys and Lacoste polos! Family values and morals are part of who a person is. If these things aren’t aligned from the beginning odds are they aren’t going to change down the line. Use wisdom and discuss them early in the relationship like adults. Call it off maturely before you guys get too close (nahhmsayin’) and she’s crying herself to sleep eating ben n’ jerry’s while watching The Notebook thinking that Drake could have treated her better.
And if she don’t love Jesus why are you even with her, bro?
3. Sleeping with someone right away. Or as us guys call it…hittin’ it!
Studies show that couples who are together and in destructive and toxic relationships for far longer than needed are more often than not (don’t quote me) but something like 90% of the time sleeping with each other. Meaning that it is harder for them to break up because they feel they have invested too much into the relationship already.
For this exact reason it is better to keep the sex out of it until you’re ready to commit to the person (in my opinion for life). When you have sex with someone you are having sex with a someones soul, and this person will ultimately be someones wife. So you are taking away the privilege of her husband (whoever that may be, even you) to receive her on her wedding day.
4. Shacking up. Moving in Together
Many will see it as a form of commitment. Some girls will feel like it is a big step and “OMG! You DO love ME!” But I can assure you, it is quite the opposite.
Although I understand the sentiment of moving in together. It is a money saver, it shows commitment and even the anti-establishment quip “We don’t need a piece of paper to prove OUR love!” I truly must reply with a “Yes, you do. But for reasons you might not be aware of.”
Moving in together is a simple cop-out. On both ends of the relationship. Nothing legally binds you to each other if you want out-besides the lease and who gets fluffy (which is not a dog, but its a pet squirrel you both decided to steal from the sewer when you got drunk on Four Lokos and went bar hopping in downtown Jersey City). This makes the relationship an open ended book, never having a quite serious enough love. You love me enough to live with me, but not enough to marry me. Man up my brethren.
5. Love & Marriage
I could write a book about these. And countless have been written. But i’ll try and condense it to this.
We live in a consumer culture where love has become a consumer word and marriage a consumer event. The word love in every other language has multiple meanings and in english only has one in which we lump everything from pizza to our wives.
But the key to change is SELFLESSNESS.
We should learn to love selflessly to please our wife, and marriage should be about raising up our wife. One of the biggest problems I’ve seen in the marriages around me is the constant critisism of the other person. We should be building up our wives with every word. Loving them with every selfless action. Giving our all. Doing the opposite of this take, take, take culture we live in. And putting God at the center of our marriages, they will never go boring, asking our wives out on dates like we are teenagers, being spontaneous, thinking about them, doodling their names on our notebooks. Less of us, more of our wives, MOST OF GOD.
All together the modern form of dating has become exploited and cheap. I can honestly say there is hope for a change in todays dating culture. Hope for us guys to realize that effort is not cowardly, romance is not wimpy and chivalry is not dead to a woman of substance.
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