10 Things I Want For My Non-Existent Kids
Susan Cain describes your single twenties as your most formative years. The decade that decides who you will be for the rest of your life. While on the opposite side of the spectrum some describe it as “young adulthood” , “the new teens” . The “you’re as young as you feels” or a “perpetual Coachella”. I like to look at it as a time of preparation. Because there’s no such thing as young bills. And as many unemployed philosophy majors will tell you, theres no such thing as young debt either.
So I look to balance my wild post-bible study life with a clear goal of financial vision. Not just a vision for my future, but for the future mini-humans that will bear my surname (poor kids will have to spend the rest of their lives having to explain to their teachers how to pronounce Quiroz). This isn’t all about money though. There are so many great things my wonderful parents have instilled in me, and I patiently wait/prepare to be able to teach these little offspring the ropes of American living.
I Want Them To Know Nothing Is Free but God’s presence and Dads/Moms Love
Right away with the awes! A problem I see more of in younger generations is that children feel entitled to things. The on demand culture we’ve created with technology and supplemental parenting has left kids feeling that they are owed things. Things belong to them even if they don’t deserve it. (cough cough free college cough cough) I’d be sure to let these little nuggets know that hard work beats all else.
2. I Want Them To Fail Forward With No Excuses
Looking at a child fail is heartbreaking. I find myself wanting to soothe and coddle my little cousins when they fall. But I realized that as they got older, they learned more from the way they were treated after the fall, not the fall itself. So it is with the future. I don’t want to pick my kids up when they fall, I want to teach them how to pick themselves up. (cue the Batman music)
3. I Want Them To See Me Worship God
As I plan for my future, I’ve realized that legacy isn’t only important in business, but it’s important in ministry and faith as well. What does life really mean if I have no one to share it with? And what will my kids really learn from me if I’m not showing them I fear God? Sure, I could have it all together, but without the main thing, it all seems hollow. I want them to see the intrinsic value in life and be grateful to God for it.
4. I Want My Kids To Be Better Than I Ever Was
I want them to be a better version of myself. There are so many things that took me a long time to figure out, and so many things my parents taught me that took them a long time to figure out; and the cycle goes on and on. I want to cut that cycle in half. I want them to be ten times as good as I ever dreamed I could be. Not because they’re my kids, or because they are even special, but because they are God’s children.
5. I My Kids To Walk In Love, Not Fall In Love
As kids become adults and fall in love, a lot is up for grabs. Broken hearts, divorce, possible fights; yet as the overprotective parent I’m declaring I will be, I’m advising my kid that they not look to fall in love. Instead, I hope that whoever they eventually end up with, that they commit to walking in love. Each and every day, deciding to be with that person for better or for worse, deciding to re-ignite the passions they shared the day they first met and continuing a fruitful and happy marriage.
6. I Want My Kids To See Me As An Example, Not An Excuse
This one’s a little selfish I guess. But I want them to look to their old man for advice. Asking him about the stuff they know he can do. Because he’s wise and cares enough to share his heart, time and energy. Looks like I’ll need to learn how to build a bird-house and re-learn algebra…frick!
7. I Want My Kids To Love With No Barriers
I think this is really the first (of many fatherly) donts. If there’s one thing I don’t want my kid to do is hold back their love. To be afraid of giving themselves wholeheartedly to friends or family for fear of what happened in the past. I don’t want them to be jaded by todays world. The world will always have negativity, it’s filled with it. But similarly and it’s filled with wonder and all things divine.
God created this world and the people in it and although some of it may have been tainted, it’s up to us to change some of it, and embrace the rest of it. As Ashton Kutcher said: “Remember that what we know to be the world around us is made up of people who are no smarter than you.”
8. I Want My Kids To Think For Themselves
This world is dogmatic. Not only in it’s religious/spiritual thinking, but in everything from fashion trends to music and politics. If you’re not with us you’re against us seems to be the cry of a generation. I want my kids to know it’s okay to be themselves. That God made them specially the way the are, and changing for somebody won’t fix anything. I want them to know the truth, and that only with the truth can they really live a life of freedom.
9. I Want My Kids To Experience Life & God In His Fullness
Speaking of truth, life without it is empty. I want them to experience everything God has to offer them. From preaching to cleaning toilets in church and missions in Africa. I want them to see all facets of reality. Not to be stuck in suburbia thinking that this is the real world. But to know that there are other very real threats to humanity besides climate change.
10. I Want My Kids To Find Their Purpose
I want them to have the satisfaction of knowing what God put them on the earth to do. The refuge in having a reason to wake up every morning and an explanation for their daily endeavors. Since I have found mine, I’m so glad I can walk them through theirs one day.
What else do you want for your non-existent kids? Parents what do you want for your actual kids? Has it worked out?